I have a fever, which I guess is a normal side effect of the booster shots I got. However, a fever where I work makes for a terribly long day, and I hate being hot and cold over and over. Besides that, work was... interesting.

I think I need to take a sabbatical LOL. But seriously. My mind won't stop perambulating, so I need to just let it do so. I've never been so happy just at the possibility of something. And yet every time I get my hopes up about it, I remind myself how I'm the last person to deserve it, and I would mess it up terribly anyway. I remind myself that there is no possibility of this happening in the first place. And that makes me terribly sad. Which is driving me crazy, because believe me, this is not something I can just forget about (I've tried).

My nightmares have slowed quite a bit lately, which is a huge relief. I've finally had some good dreams, it's been about 8 months since that happened. I still can't really sleep though, and at work I've been so restless (for different reasons), so I'm really wearing down.



"Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor.
So you tell yourself, that's enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar."
-The Fray