"I'll be your distraction"

I didn't know it was possible to be caught so off-guard, but it's keeping me distracted and in a good mood so I can't complain. :) I'm sure nothing will ever come of this, because that is my luck, and because he is with somebody, but I'm trying to maintain a better attitude this year. As Vince (a coworker) keeps telling me, "don't sell yourself short." So... I'm really trying not to, but I honestly don't know what I even have to offer anyone.

I look at all these beautiful girls that wear lots of make-up and make their hair really pretty, wear dresses, etc., and then I look in the mirror and how can I *not* think the things I think? I don't wear make-up, and I'm not pretty with or without the make-up. My hair is a wavy frizz-ball unless I straighten or scrunch it, and that's about all I know how to do. I don't like dressing up and whenever I do, I'm extremely uncomfortable. Even when I'm "myself" I struggle with low self esteem, and the guys I've dated were mostly assholes so I don't immediately trust guys. And when you mix all of that together, well... guys don't wait around for someone like me. Guys don't say "wow, I bet if I give her a little bit of time and space, she'll be worth it." I want to believe that there are guys who would wait, and somewhere deep in my heart, I think do believe it.