Death

My dad's good friend suffered esophageal cancer twice, and made his way into Heaven on December 27th. I was so strongly affected that I ended up writing his family a letter and putting it inside my sympathy card to them. I'm not sure why I'm posting what I wrote in there, other than that I have so much sorrow in my heart right now and nothing else to say, so might as well just copy what I wrote in the letter. Here it is, and rest in peace Tim.

I met Timmy through my dad (Ron Kramer)--they worked together at Delphi for 30 years. I remember my dad would talk about the amazing miracle of one of his friends who had esophageal (Stage 4) cancer, and was getting better. I didn't know the details or even who the friend was, but when I finally heard the story I was absolutely blown away. I remember crying later that day about it--it was the biggest miracle I had ever heard about around here.

This past summer I planned a combined surprise 60th birthday party for my parents, and decided to invite a few of their close friends, instead of only having family there. So I searched for the man who had esophageal cancer, not sure if he was healthy or what his name was. I finally found out he was Timothy Stanczak, and invited him to my parents' party, but I didn't know if he was healthy enough to make it.

Timmy called me to RSVP for the party, and it was the first time I ever talked to him. Because he had worked with my dad for so long, I'm sure he'd heard stories about me, but he was so genuinely caring on the phone I couldn't believe it. We actually talked for about 20 minutes, and I was amazed at his passion for life and family and friends. I cried as soon as we hung up--I can't explain it, but it was sort of like he suddenly knew everything would be alright and he had stopped worrying.

When I met Tim at my parents' party, I couldn't believe the energy and positivity surrounding him. He was talking to everyone at the party like they were all good friends. I love that contagious friendliness, and I've realized it's pretty rare. After the party I asked my dad about Tim's condition, and was shocked to hear that he had still been doing chemo or radiation treatments when I talked to him on the phone about the party. And the party was at the end of May, and my dad thought he had just finished all his treatments around then.

I am not sure why Tim's story had affected me so much since I talked to him on the phone once and then met him one day. But I broke down when I found out the cancer had returned and you all had to go through the devastation again. He must have been so heartbroken at first, but I do know he was living his life to the fullest after he was cured in May. I have to believe that God gave him more time here so his energy, kindness, compassion, radiance, and love could touch many more people. And I am proof of that--this has affected me almost as much as if he were my own relative, which shows God's love for us by letting Tim touch all of our hearts more than we could ever imagine.

When I heard the cancer came back, I knew he must have been devastated. I've found I have a gift of encouragement, and one night an idea popped into my head and hasn't left me since. I've never had such a strong feeling to do a specific thing for someone, so it breaks my heart that I was not able to make what I feel I was supposed to make for Tim, but I know it's okay. I was going to put together a "Chicken Soup for Timothy's Soul" book, filled with everyone's stories (funny and sad ones) about times they shared with him. I don't know if he liked to read or not, but I had a feeling he would really enjoy it. But I know those who got to visit him shared the stories they needed to share, and that he had plenty of great stories and memories in his own mind and heart to comfort him.

I pray that this letter doesn't make you sad, but shows you just how amazing Timothy Stanczak was. He truly has touched my life (and others') in tremendous ways just by being Timothy. I wish I could have seen him again, but I will never ever forget him. Thank God he is no longer in any pain, and one day we will all join him again in Heaven. May God hold your heads up and keep your hearts strong as you all grieve for Timothy.

~Karen Kramer