somewhere in between

I've moved, but I am still not going anywhere; I feel stuck and I am not sure how to get out of this. I'm exhausted from fighting these uphill battles that I've been fighting for so long. It's always the same fight, no matter where I am or who I am up against. And it's incredibly tiring.

The irony is that the harder I try to fight these battles, the more of what they say becomes true in my eyes. I am worthless, I am expendable, I am ordinary. I am passionate about things that don't matter, and cold about the things that do. I am average. I am clueless. I don't care enough. I care too much. And I am broken beyond repair.

I need a clean break, but can't seem to pick myself up and just move on. I know what would make me happy, but I also know I don't deserve it. So how am I supposed to get myself out of this one?

"This is over my head but underneath my feet,

'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat

And everything will be back to the way it was--

I wish that it was just that easy...

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in?

Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again.

I don't want to run away from this,

I know that I just don't need this..."

-Lifehouse, "Somewhere In Between"