Hey Ya

I am sinking, but I'm still holding on.  I've found that I can only rely on myself amidst this chaos, and maybe that is for the best although it doesn't feel that way now.  I am still not sure how strong I really am, and I feel weak because I should still be thriving and really I am doing quite the opposite.  I am wilting.  I am suffocating.  I am dying.  But I'm still holding on, waiting for that tiny speck of light to finally come my way, so I can feel again.  I just hope it finds me soon, because this is unbearable.

Also, I discovered this song a few weeks ago, and I'm in love with it.  Well, I've heard the Outkast version of course, but never an acoustic version.  Something about Matt's voice is mesmerizing, and the words fit perfectly for my current situation.  This version makes me cry, both in a good and bad way.  It's very much like a siren, luring me in no matter how much I might try to turn away.  But it's fantastic, and I can't get enough.

"It's all over now, ooh, and I made it through somehow"

Long distance relationships are incredibly hard, but love is a pretty powerful thing, and it will stretch you past limits you never thought you could surpass.


"Missing You"
If everything was aligned just right;
If we both looked up at the stars tonight...
Would you hear me make my wish?
Would you see me crying over it?
Could you brush my hair from my face?
Kiss me tenderly and leave your taste?
Would you hold me when I'm shaking,
Breathe when I'm hyperventilating?

Could you take my hand and take me away?
Or hold on to me, forever and always?
Could you promise this won't be so hard
To live our lives from where we are?
Five states and 840 miles apart--
You hold my very fragile heart.
I love you more than you could ever know;
So please don't ever let me go, again.
-KK, 10/3/12


Also, I found out the other day that my college roommate (and good friend), her dad had an accident and is now in a coma with brain damage and there is nothing the doctors can do.  I can't stop crying about it; Jack was such a good guy, and I can't imagine what any of them are going through right now.

This is the song I always listen to when death is near, or death has won.  It's sad, but somehow perfect. I will be praying madly for Jack and his family, for a miracle recovery, and for peace of all if Jack must be taken from them.