Steady Now...

"Steady now, steady now;
Don't fear what you can't see.
Ready now, ready now --
I'll hold onto you,
You hold onto me."
-Grace Potter <3

Advice I need to remember, especially now when I'm prone to want to run.  I wish I wasn't so afraid of everything all the damn time...

Enlightenment

I've been trying to figure out how to get past some of my issues; it's been a long process.  Thanks to Sam for creating a list of things for me to do, which took a little bit of encouraging to complete, but definitely helped... and prepared me for what was about to happen.

Recently I bought myself a little book called a "Gratitude Journal," where you write something every day.  There are pages with a writing prompt, such as "write about 3 things you find beautiful today," or "write down everything you are grateful for today," and some pages are simply blank, or just have a quote.  So I've been writing in that each day, and it's a great reminder of just how great life is.

Also, I bought a 2-disc CD simply because of the title (terrible, I know!).  But the title was:  "Keep Calm and Carry On."  It's all instrumental music which I enjoy, but it's more about what it represents -- keeping calm, breathing, relaxing, clearing your mind, and still moving instead of being stagnate like I had been for so long.

I also just bought a scrapbook kit, the theme is "Memories."  I loved the styles of paper, the decorations it came with, and the quotes that were being displayed, such as "cherish yesterday," "live for today," and "dream of tomorrow."  I haven't opened up the kit yet, but I plan to turn the scrapbook into a self-realization of just how far I've come in my own life, especially after moving to Madison, and I know that will really help me get my confidence back, and to be even more grateful for my life.

In addition, I found these decorative keys at Michael's that just... drew me in.  Not sure what I will do with them, but they're old fashioned looking keys and they each have a word on them:  Love, Secret, Heart, Memory, Journey, Life, and Dreams.

And lastly, I ordered 3 books online today that I believe will help me overcome at least some of my self esteem / trust / adandonment / intimacy issues.  I should have the books next week.

Somehow, all of this is going to help me, with additional help from a certain someone that has been doing an excellent job of making me more comfortable in my own skin. :)  I'm at a place in life where I've FINALLY realized that I DO deserve better, and that I DO have a lot to offer... you can call it "enlightenment" or whatever you want.  I am finally on my journey toward a better, happier life than I had ever thought I could possibly deserve, and it's been extremely rewarding already ♥

"I'll go hide. If you're still there then you're still all I want..." ♥

Good Life

OMG Both rabbits are taking turns flopping in their cages (sign of bliss).  And I have butterflies and can't stop smiling.  It really is the good life, for all of us ♥

Who Am I

Love this song so much, always have.




My entire life I've felt lost, invisible, ignored, despised, abandoned, and unlovable.  It's taken a long time to get to where I am, but I'm pretty damn proud of all the progress I've made.

I found a perfect quote last night:

"There is no passion to be found playing small -- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."  -Nelson Mandela

At least I am finally living, and loving every minute of it :)