I think there's something in the water...

...seriously! I am still in shock from finding out how many guys like me at the moment. I think they just don't know me well enough to know better. And the entire time, I can't help but wonder if it's obvious who I like. I always feel like it's blatantly obvious, but I'm hoping it's not. And it's probably the one guy who doesn't like me.

I wish I could just get over all my crazy self esteem issues and relationship issues, and just be happy. I am finally starting to feel content and happy, but it's always mixed in with days of pure discontent and self-loathing. I've had enough of that and it's time to turn and aim for something that would truly make and keep me happy. I think I know what I should be turning to, but I'm terrified of the idea so I'm just stuck for now.

I hiked just over 6 miles today at Lake Kegonsa Sate Park in Stoughton, and I saw 2 cranes up close, about 20 deer, a baby chipmunk, and an owl (in broad daylight)!!! I can't tell you how happy that made me feel. It was like God just showered me with what makes me truly happy, and he is also showering me with people who really think they like me, which probably should make me feel better about myself. I wonder if He is trying to tell me to just let go of everything and let myself be happy for once...